Your experience sounds awful, and the larger tragedy is that so many women have similar ones. It's baffling that the media haven't paid more attention to the American maternity care crisis when a vast number of statistics support that you are far from alone. It's only in the past decade or so, for example, that I've seen articles on childbirth-related PTSD when the problem has existed forever. There's at least anedotal evidence that since men have been in delivery rooms, they, too, have been developing PTSD from seeing their partners suffer so much, and I may write about that if I can find good supporting research. The situation seems unlikely to change unless more women speak out, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing your experiences. I hope it will encourage others to do that. Thank you!