A huge problem here now is that so many people seem to have given up on trying to bridge that cultural divide. The gap has grown so wide, it feels hopeless to them.

New Englanders like your mother used to face something similar (as I'd bet she did): People used to see them as cold or standoffish when, in reality, they were warm but more reserved than those from some other regions, esp. the extroverted South. That's changed a lot, but I'd bet some old-timers from places other than New England still hold that view of them.